Why it’s easier to collaborate with strangers

After a barrage of injections in preparation for a trip to somewhere tropical, I was reassured that the most dangerous part of my trip would be the drive to the airport.

Trains and planes are much safer, but nobody bats an eyelid when they get in their car, despite the statistics. And the reason for that all comes down to trust.

On your drive to work, you do what Sapiens author Yuval Harari identifies as one of the two reasons humans run the planet: you collaborate with strangers. Hundreds of times a day, you drive at break-neck speed towards and within inches of oncoming traffic, trusting that people you’ve never met will stay on their side of the line.

It’s when you get to work that you have trouble collaborating.

Why is that?
Although two oncoming drivers are heading in the opposite direction, they passionately share the same objective – to not crash. It’s a mutually assured win-win, built on trust in the system: that the other driver has passed their test; that they’ve self-assessed they’re fit to drive; that their car has passed its test; and that the road is roadworthy, etc. (UK readers might be rolling around the floor laughing at this last point.)

At the other end of the spectrum, there are those you both know and trust, such as your friends and family. The people you will do anything for at the drop of a hat, and vice versa. It’s the kind of collaboration that’s so premium-grade that the use of the word ‘collaboration’ is unnecessary. It just happens.

The problem comes in the middle of these two extremes – where you know your colleagues, but you don’t fully trust them.

Colleagues can perceive each other as direct competitors – for resources, promotion, recognition, rewards, etc. And they also compete in that arena of highest value: ideas. From new product features to strategic direction, it can often feel like a zero-sum game, and that you’re battling the enemy within.

As long as strangers abide by the rules of the road, the great benefit of never meeting them is that everything about them is of absolutely no consequence to you. Your colleagues on the other hand have all those human foibles that are all too familiar, and which the human psyche feels compelled to judge – from informal corridor talk to 360 surveys. Leadership style, values, decision-making, beliefs, interpersonal skills. And a pre-programmed Negativity Bias that tends to see weaknesses more easily than it recognises strengths.

In short, your colleagues often want to achieve different things, and/or they want to achieve them in different ways from you. Collaboration will ONLY happen when these two are aligned. That’s why it’s so important to have a purpose (why) that drives the vision (where) and strategy (what), wrapped up in a culture (how) that will bring and keep people together for the longhaul.

Imagine how much faster and further you could travel if you could trust your colleagues with your work as much as you trust strangers with your life?

Rich Alderton specialises in raising Adaptability Intelligence, so if you're looking to be more of a smithy, call us on 07873 823 800, email us or complete our enquiry form.

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