The argument for constructive conflict

Just as saying no isn’t always negative (see previous mail), neither is all conflict negative. In fact it’s essential, and becomes more important the higher you climb.

What’s the issue?

1. The more strategic the decision, the more it is based on opinion rather than fact. That’s a fact.
2. Most people understand the term ‘healthy debate’, but in practice that’s often limited to polite and political posturing, and stops right at the point where the real, valuable tough conversation needs to start.
3. Many people it seems have been brought up to believe that all conflict is bad. Don’t argue with your parents. In adulthood, that becomes a zero-sum game (‘for me to win you have to lose’). Disagreement is perceived to be disrespectful (‘are you calling my big idea ugly?’). Arguing is perceived to be aggressive (‘I am threatened by your challenge’).

Activities to consider

1. There will always be 27 different versions of the brave new world you can imagine. And once you’ve chosen one, there will then be 27 different ways to get there. That is one big, beautiful decision-tree rooted in conflict.
2. A culture of constructive conflict is the ONLY way you will make optimal decisions. Otherwise you’ll fall foul of who shouts loudest and group think.
3. Constructive conflict is a bellwether for how good a leader you are. Here’s why:
   a.) For a start, it requires you to check your ego at the door.
   b.) It requires empathy, and that requires time and curiosity, and care for others.
   c.) It requires that you listen, and are objective.
   d.) It requires you to stand up and back down as required. You need to do what is right, not what is comfortable or ego-protecting.
   e.) It requires you to have the vulnerability to say ‘I don’t know’ when you don’t know.
   f.) It requires that you are focused on getting the best outcome for the team, not winning the argument for yourself.

If you can do all that, you’re well on the way to being a good leader.

Try this

Next time you’ve got something controversial to contribute to the conversation, say it. Practise all the skills listed above to deliver it in a way that is constructive. But if your general M.O. is that you’re not prepared to fight for what you believe might be a better way, then ask yourself whether you’re in your job to make a difference or just to carry on being in your job.

At HPC, we developed Adaptability Based Leadership with the express purpose of raising productivity through more engaged, better led staff. If that approach resonates, contact me and let’s get you started on the next phase of your journey towards mastering leadership.